|
|
|
August 22nd, 2005
01:18 pm
Well, dear readers, we never imagined it would be true, but our racers are already in the second half of their mad journey! It is I, your trusty correspondent E..G. McKinley, returned to bring you the latest from the long, hard road.
The Deathracers, intact in body but not in spirit now that Aaron has returned to Wesleyan to start his real job, continue in Canada, and anticipate reaching the great state of New York and the even greater country of America before nightfall.
But here the true tests begin! As some of you may know, upstate New York features some of the fiercest and most forbidding mountains in all of Appalachia! Though Wisconsin proved to show some major foes, nothing can prepare the racers for what awaits them! Artist's rendering, as always, below:
For now, though, there is Canada, our sweet neighbor to the North. The racers report, as you have read, that Canucks have treated them excellently, offering places to sleep, money, and even personal tours through the world of pigeon racing! Wow! $10 and a new camp stove says none of you, dear readers, have ever seen a racing pigeon in the US of A!
Our trusty travelers last phoned in from the town of Niagara on the Lake in Canada, where they will spend some time before heading on to the 8th Wonder of the World, Niagara Falls!
Wow!
Though the scenery may be beautiful, friends, times are not for these racers. With the departure of Aaron came the breaking of their trusty camp stove, which had brought them hot water and food--the very essence of life!-- through the wilds of Wisconsin, Michigan and southern Canada. Times are hard and supplies are short, and the racers, while keeping a strong face, are turning to their last resort-- a grocery store. Yes, after rejecting the comforts of modern society our fearsome travelers have been forced-- forced, mind you!-- to turn to that bastion of sustenance we all take for granted. Oh, our bikers are braver than we ever knew, turning back to the land they rejected for simple nutrition. Take this not as backsliding, gentle readers! Oh no! It takes men and women of great courage to return to that which they have left behind, and for that, we owe these bikers our respect and eternal admiration.
And so, they bike on. The experts at our Deathrace Tracking Center (DTC) estimate our travelers will arrive at Home Avenue, Middletown, Connecticut sometime in the middle of next week, just as, my sourcces tell me, the newest Wesleyan students will be acclimating themselves to the glories and pitfalls of Wesleyan life. A more exact arrival time will come, as always, from me, your correspondent E.G. McKinley. For now, stay safe, admire the view, and never stop thinking about biking.
|
August 20th, 2005
01:03 pm - an entry by sarah, anna, and patrick
We are in Canada now. We have had CRAZY WIND for the past few days and have been nearly blown off the road a few times. Had an encounter with poison ivy yesterday that turned out to be OK because we scrubbed ourselves off right afterwards. Have met two amazing men named Marty. The first one fixed our bikes and the second let us use his stove after ours broke. We may all be naming our first born sons Marty.
Michigan had a few breakdowns, but we loved the state anyway. We took the Bluewater Ferry over this extremely blue river and entered Canada with absolutely no problems ("are you all US citizens?" "yes." "ok, have a nice visit.").
There is too much to write, we'll post pictures when we get back. 50 miles left to go today.
ps - we bought honey from a beekeeper this morning. it is delicious.
|
August 8th, 2005
10:50 pm
Picture it: a pristine lake in Northern Wisconsin.
Our Deathracers are taking their well-deserved break by swimming in a lovely lake, that may or may not have been the aforementioned Clam Lake. Suddenly, their beautiful respite is ruined. Anna and Patrick are attacked... BY LEECHES!
My goodness, ladies and gentlemen, perhaps even I, your faithful correspondent E.G. McKinley, have underestimated the bravery of these cyclists! Overcoming illness and injury and attacking dogs, and now leeches. It seems it can't get wild enough in this rural Wisconsin leg of the trip!
The racers continue to make their way through Wisconsin, what Sarah says is a "roundabout" route. Can you blame them, though? Look at the view!
Only a day after the Leech Incident (as my colleagues in the mainstream press have come to call it), the racers-- all four in one day!-- met tragedy. Two bent wheels! One missing chain! And one snapped gear cable, by far the worst of it, for Patrick Baron! Thanks to the expertise of Anna, however, nothing will stay these racers, not even accidents such as these!
And the riders move onward. Fighting extreme heat, the threat of traffic on roads, leeches and dogs, these racers have survived it all. They beat onward and onward, always looking toward their goal-- that finish line in Middletown, Connecticut. Their bravery and their perseverance may not be matched again in the history of humankind. We could all take an example from this fearsome foursome.
That's all for now, ladies and gentlemen. This, as always, is E.G. McKinley, reminding you to stay safe, stay hydrated, inspect your exposed skin when you're finished swimming, and never stop thinking about biking.
|
August 5th, 2005
12:12 am
Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, ladies and gentlemen, never before have we seen a race to the death quite like this one! Our brave crew overcame multiple obstacles from the very start of their trip! It's only coming on day 5 and already we've seen...
-- angry dogs!
--near-death experiences!
--illness!
--overly-friendly motorcyclists!
-- and more baked beans consumed than may be legal in Wisconsin!
Before we begin, let's just get an update on our deathracers' location. They are approaching Glidden, Wisconsin, which can be seen here:
That's nearly 190 miles in four days! Take a look at the distance!
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is the United States they are crossing.
But before they could even leave Minnesota, they needed bikes, and one key member didn't have one! Though Aaron Reuben arrived in Minneapolis in top shape, his luggage AND his bike did not follow suit! The luggage arrived on Sunday, but as departure hour approached on Monday morning, the bike had yet to make an appearance! The morning shadows grew shorter, the hour of departure came and went, and the Deathracers waited anxiously for the chariot that would complete their gorup of four road warriors. In the afternoon, though, at last! The bike arrived! The crew set out, and before sunset they were already in Wisconsin! Not bad for a trip that was delayed from minute one!
In their first days they have averaged, at times, 60 miles a day, which would only take an hour by car-- but that would be the easy way! They have sung songs, told stories, and occasionally let out enthusiastic whoops to keep the moving on that long, tough road.
The terrain has reportedly been the same each day-- corn, corn, and even more corn! Below, an artist's rendering:
And a photograph, just as realistic!
The bikers can reportedly see 2 miles of road ahead of them, so nothing sneaks up on these crafty cyclists!
Here's a story from Anna (reported verbatim, because this reporter will not let anything go by!)
"We were biking, and it's been hours and hours of corn, and all of a sudden we start seeing hills, which we weren't expecting. So we go up the first hill, and it's hard, and at the crest of it we see... THE BIGGEST HILL IN THE WORLD." (artist's rendering below)
"It was practically a mountain. So we decide to rest before we tackle it, and a pair of motorcycles drive by and we wonder if they can even make it up the hill. As we're watching them, they get halfway up and actually turn around, so of course we think we're doomed. They come back and stop to talk to us, offering us water, and we tell them we're fine, just resting. Then they say, 'He didn't look too good,' and point to Aaron."
Aaron Reuben, known for his pale skin and wiry frame, has never before been mistaken for sickly, but Aaron is under no normal conditions! He AND Anna are both nursing illnesses, while biking up to 60 miles per day! How do these maniacs do it? Aaron claims the Washington D.C. airport made him sick, but this reporter's guess would be that a diet of baked beans and pasta can't be doing him any good, at least if Atkins has anything to say! Anna's not sure how she caught the illness, but she and Aaron are testing out their superhuman strength by biking through the pain! I don't know about the rest of you, but in this reporter's opinion, if they can make it through this, they can make it through anything!
Other than massive hills, the crew also faced an onslaught from an overzealous dog, which put Aaron in grave danger, trapped between an oncoming dog in one lane and oncoming cars in another! The rest of the Deathracers, with their good biking sense, stayed back, until Patrick gave the dog a particularly rude gesture and began the chase anew! All escaped unscathed, but I think certain bikers have learned that, when it comes to the road, sometimes a bark can be bigger than its bike!
The crew is taking a break this Friday in Clam Lake, Wisconsin. A photo!
They're not sure what they'll do, but hopefully some tired bodies and immune systems will take a rest, and they'll be prepared to continue storming the midwest!
They'll be in Wisconsin for another few days, then a five-hour ferry ride will take them to...
DId you know that "Michigan" means "large lake" in a native Indian language? Or that half the state is shaped like a mitten? The Deathracers probably didn't know that either, but that won't stop them from taking the state by storm!
Keep reading for another update! This is your correspondent E.G. McKinley, and until next time, stay safe, stay hydrated, obey all traffic laws, and never stop thinking about biking.
|
July 28th, 2005
11:04 pm - Race to the Death!
Attention, attention everyone! Wesdeathrace, that familiar name from your friends page, is back in action! In no less than four days our beloved Deathracers will set out upon a journey that will try their souls, their minds, their hearts, and their well-padded bicycle-riding behinds! And I, your trusty correspondent E.G. McKinley will be right there with the action!
I realize many of you may not know me, but do not worry! I have been carefully chosen from a field of thousands of fine members of the press corps to bring this FASCINATING, MIND-BLOWING, and possibly TEARJERKING story to YOU, dear online reader! Trust me, after years of covering such fine sporting events as the Tour de France, the Ironman Decathlon, and the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest, I have seen human beings reach to the extremes of their abilities like no other reporter on this earth! These four fine cyclists, as they embark on their trek from the wilds of Minnesota to the even-wilder-wilds of orientation week at Wesleyan University, will encounter trials the likes of which you, and perhaps even I have never seen! And right here, in this very location, you will have front-row access to it all! The scrapes! The bruises! The long nights under the cold, starless Canadian summer sky. The final stretch to Connecticut, and at last, crossing that finish line on Home Avenue and becoming TRUE, REAL CHAMPIONS.
For the uninitiated, allow me to introduce our heroes!
Anna Ouyang Moench, 20, a native of Towson, Maryland who has trained by riding up and down the hills of the mighty Baltimore suburbs. She even has the scrapes to prove it!
 Anna
Patrick Anthony Baron, 21, a native of Baltimore, Maryland who has trained by running over lesser cyclists in the wilds of Central Park, Manhattan! Rumor has it he's got a thing for Miss Moench-- will sparks fly between them, or will that just be the telltale sign that someone's bike chain is scraping the pavement? Trust me, as soon as I know, so will you!
 Patrick
Sarah Agnes Lonning, 21, of Hopkins, Minnesota, who has reportedly done the most for training since the summer began! Will she outpace her fellow riders and leave them all in the cold Wisconsin dust? Or will she lead them all to a well-deserved victory lap?
 Sarah
And finally, Aaron Samuel Reuben, 20, of Charleston, South Carolina. Rumor has it Aaron has trained by ferrying rich young children down dangerous whitewater rapids. But rafting skills do not equal bike skills, so only time will tell if the true road warrior in this redheaded rascal will arrive in style.
 Aaron
That's all for this edition! Next time you hear from me, our brave crew will have hit the road. Until then, stay safe, stay hydrated, and never stop thinking about biking.
|
November 15th, 2004
02:45 pm
Ladies and gentlemen, Deathrace is going to the UK.
God Save the Queen.
God Save the Queen from Deathrace.
-ar
|
October 15th, 2004
October 14th, 2004
10:48 pm
i expect a full report on the bike repair class a.s.a.p., as mr. lindinson would say.
or, you know, w.y.g.a.f.m....wiyagafama!
-munchracer
|
October 10th, 2004
05:08 pm
Alright, so things are getting serious. Its time to look at bikes ... exciting stuff.
|
September 21st, 2004
12:24 am - 314!
there are only three hundred and fourteen days left until day one of deathrace! Holy ass! Git yerselves excited!
-P
PS: Whoaa I'm playing with the calendar instead of working! I'm wearing Sarah's rugby sweatshirt! Aaron is stupid! Just cause, thats why!
|
July 30th, 2004
04:00 pm
I had this crazy deathrace dream last night. We were doing a trial run of the last leg of the trip, the area between Michigan and Connecticut. Just to see how long it would take us. The thing was, in my dream the area between Michigan and Connecticut was a JUNGLE.
And instead of biking with Anna and Patrick and Aaron I was with a bunch of old people that I'd never seen before.
I need to buy a new bike.
-sarah
|
May 21st, 2004
04:37 pm - summer plans
well now that we've all signed the pact and gone our separate ways (except for patrick and me, who are still both inhabiting the greatest city in america), we need a plan. many plans.
1. deathrace book. yes, we need a book/guide thing. start writing.
2. start fantasizing about the glories of your ass enrobed in spandex.
3. sarahs friends think this will never happen. find them and silence them.
4. i dont know, make more plans. plans never go awry, as long as theyre well-laid.
-aom
|
April 13th, 2004
07:20 pm - Bully Amongst Us
I don't want to alarm anyone, but I am starting to think that Anna Moench is not as wholesome as we had all originally thought. Earlier today I saw her ruthlessly bullying some poor kid. He had just told us about how much he liked his rain jacket when Anna grabbed it and riped the zipper, leaving him ripe for water stains near the crotch. She then sent him on his way with an already opened mushy banana ... the boy seemed to be on the verge of tears. Plus, his glasses were definitly broken. Now, I didn't see Anna break the glasses ... but judging by her behavior ...
So I guess what I'm saying, guys, is just keep an eye on her.
|
April 7th, 2004
04:30 pm
you guys, I still have that paper covered in scorched marshmallows and scented candles. it is grossness. I can't believe that Patrick ate part of it. Anyway, I really don't want it in my room any more. Maybe a muffin can go to someone with an awesome prank idea?
|
07:07 am - .(O--O.
Hiiiii. I'm happy to report that my bowels are newly liberated from all marshmellow-wax residue. I'd like to thank everyone who stood with me in this time of need, it was rough back there, I never would have made it without you. Hey Anna and Aaron, did Field and I wake anyone up on your side of the dorm when we were howling at the moon at 3:30 am? I think that the next muffin goes to whosoever can eat the most 50 cent wes shop burritos. 10 is the minimum to even qualify for the tournament. Ante up, Deathracists. Also, just for kicks, I think we should make Aaron eat 70 marshmellow peeps and then we should microwave him, see what happens. Sexy results, thats my bet. Love you all, P. Anthony B.
|
April 2nd, 2004
01:46 pm
when are we doing the bike repair classes?
who will earn the next muffin?
when will patrick's bowels be free of waxy marshmallows?
these questions need answers.
-aom
|
March 28th, 2004
12:09 pm
Race for the cure??? Nah. DEATHRACE!
|
March 27th, 2004
02:47 pm - 491 bottles of death on the wall
I just got an idea. We should try to get someone to make their senior thesis film about us. It could be a deathumentary.
- s a r a h
|
March 25th, 2004
02:46 pm - 493 still
This morning while my professor was talking about land reform policy in Latin America, I was thinking about how much I like spandex. Then I started thinking about whale guts again, but that is less relevant.
-s
|
08:51 am - 493 days
i have a 9:00 class today. i woke up this morning to my alarm and sat in my bed for fifteen minutes. then i looked at the clock again and realized that it was 9:15. fuck. then i looked at my watch and realized that it was only 8:15, and that this sort of thing will never be allowed to happen on deathrace. im going to class now.
-racer AOM
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
wesdeathrace's journal